Straws: Brummagen Ware. (1941)

The Straws Column from the November 1941 issue of the Socialist Standard

Brummagen Ware.

The Bishop of Birmingham, on Sunday, September 28th, opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “The destruction of wealth would make the whole community poorer.” If the last war is any guide, there will still be an ample share of surplus value produced to provide high living (not in the “spiritual” sense, My Lord) for the privileged few. The dear Bishop then solemnly announced that in the present war “workers were becoming small capitalists.”

* * * *

Cant and Cantor.

Dr. E. W. Barnes often manages to be merely silly; he should take a refresher course from the Archbishop of Canterbury to learn the ignoble art of bowing in the House of Rimmon, and apologising for it in specious phrases. “We may well be proud of our new Ally. . . . We have something to learn from Russia . . . they have something to learn from us” (6.10.41). How does he square this with the “orthodox” religious view that the present conflict is essentially to fight for Christian ideals ?

* * * *

Soviet “Equality”

The reverend dodger must be well aware that Soviet “planning of economic resources for the good of the whole community” has not obviated the great gulf in material conditions between peasant and proletarian on the one hand and “high-ups” of the Communist Party ruling caste on the other. The S.P.G.B. will be pleased to furnish irreproachable evidence on the point should His Grace desire information. Sez you !

* * * *

Oliver and Bumble.

Compare the following statements occurring in the same issue of the Daily Herald (17.10.41): “Beaverbrook cannot make the tanks himself. That only the workers can do; it is on the workers and their constant eagerness of toil that he relies.”

“Almost impossible to contemplate.” Sir Walter Womersley’s reply to demand for flat rate increase in Service men’s allowances. “Impossible even to contemplate,” when the worker in field, factory, or ghastly battle area asks (all too modestly, alas) for an extra allowance of the skilly ladled out to him by National Bums and Bumbles.

* * * *

War Tipsters.

Lord Acton’s historical essays are always worth reading; they are studded with common sense remarks, as, for instance, “there is an undefinable quantity in military genius which makes the event uncertain.” An excellent piece of implied advice to war tipsters of all shades and all parties.

* * * *

Golden Nobs and Clay Feet.

Harold Laski is a knowing card; his eulogy of our “beloved leader” in Reynold’s of October 19th beats the ordinary method of “damning with faint praise” by sizable lengths. “Of Mr. Churchill’s immense popularity there can be no question.” He has paid tribute to the Prime Minister’s “eloquence,” etc., etc. But “the conviction is growing that he does not grasp the economic and social issues of the time,” and much more in the same key.

Augustus Snellgrove

Straws: “And now to tighten our belts again . . . ” (1941)

The Straws Column from the February 1941 issue of the Socialist Standard

“And now to tighten our belts again,” and don’t forget “Oatmeal will be cheaper.” (Evening Standard, December 26th, 1940.)

* * * *

That’s the stuff to give ’em. Who said “Skilly”? Silence in the ranks. Order of the day. “Gala Dinner, 21s. Book your tables now. Air Raid Lunch, 8s. 6d.” (Same paper, same day’s advertisement.) Tight belts and tighter bellies.

* * * *

The New Statesman (January 1st, 1941) is moved to remark: “Think of the passages in the King’s Christmas speech about common perils and common sufferings willingly shared; ask whether these sentiments correspond to what is going on around us.”

* * * *

“The mistake we made in 1919 was that we thought we could abolish war altogether—an impracticable ideal, because, as one writer has said: ‘To put an end to conflict is impossible; life is a conflict.’ Had we possessed the wisdom of the mediaeval church, instead, we should have set out to limit it; then this was done by the Truce of God, which definitely restricted its duration and horrors.”

* * * *

The foregoing is from an article in the Evening Standard of January 4th, by Major-General J. C. Fuller. Our largest circulation evening paper must rate its average reader’s mental alertness pretty low, its knowledge of history lower. Consider, for a moment, the statement approved by the gallant Major: “To put an end to conflict is impossible; life is a conflict.” Two major errors here; first, “life” is not by any means all “conflict,” and even if it were, the factors conditioning “conflict” do not remain static. They move on.

* * * *

We hope that the virtual substitution of “war” for “conflict” is a mental, not a moral slip of the Major’s. However that may be, the author of the not uninteresting “The Generalship of Ulysses Grant” really should consult some moderately good mediaeval history. The talk about the beneficent influence of the “Truce of God” is sheer guff. The “Treuga Dei” was as big a washout as Locarno, in spite of Papal sponsoring.

* * * *

The Major refers to Henry the Fifth’s “Articles of War” as “evidence that mankind still believed in the sanctity of human life.” Elementary primers will inform the Major that the Battle of Agincourt was marked by a brutal massacre of French prisoners. As Shakespeare’s Gower remarked: “The King most worthily hath caused every soldier to cut his prisoner’s throat. O, ’tis a gallant King.”

* * * *

Ernest Bevin is freely tipped, in Labour circles as a future Prime Minister. Wary, lacking the “side,” and never indulging in the pompous claptrap of “Go To It,” he will probably easily outstrip his possible Labour rival.

* * * *

Notwithstanding, Bevin slipped up on May 13th, this year; he should study some recent modern history; some of the members of the Union he so completely bossed do so. “I will try to follow the work of George Barnes.” Even Reynold’s (March 3rd, 1916), was fain to protest when, in the last war, the Minister for Pensions set his face against pensioning men who, by reason of inadequate medical examination by overworked medicos, promptly collapsed under Army conditions. His words are worth recalling again: “They will not get it while I am in office.”

* * * *

Mr. Latham (Labour Leader of the London County Council) has refused to back the nursing staff of the Council in a request to bring up wages to arbitration level. “It would create an injustice to other Council employees.” This statement seems to be an attempted exploitation of an only too prevalent state of mind among most wage-workers; schoolkeeper grumbles at the meagre dole, calculated to the tenth of a penny by “Accounting-Officer” ; Head Teacher, who belongs to an association sternly determined to keep a respectable difference ‘between minimum “Head’s” ladleful and maximum “Assistant’s” ditto. All of which is very helpful to the Bumble Lathams and their kind.

Jack Straw.

Blogger's Note:

There was a Straws Column in the Socialist Standard in the mid-1930s, which was penned by Augustus Snellgrove. The writing style of this column suggests that 'Jack Straw' is a pen name for Augustus Snellgrove. Read some of his other articles already on the blog and you will see what I mean.

Straws: Drifting Whither? (1935)

The Straws Column from the September 1935 issue of the Socialist Standard

Drifting Whither?

Maxton’s deterioration goes on apace. For sheer sloppiness, the following (part of speech at recent I.L.P. Summer School, reported in New Leader, August 9th, 1935) would be hard to beat: “Those who best lead the people are those who most humbly watch the people, try to understand them, get . . .  into the real hearts of the people.”

Vote-Catchers’ Reward

He attributed the “tremendous success” of the I.L.P. to the fact that “it has never tried to set itself above the people.” ‘‘Tremendous success” in angling for votes from a politically inexperienced working class has not prevented the Party which claimed to ‘‘overwhelmingly” dominate the Labour Government of 1924 (see our "Questions of the Day,” page 36) from dwindling to an insignificant reformist rump of three M.P.s.

Socialism and Religion

Middleton Murry, high priest of the I.L.P. breakaway (“Independent Socialist Party”) shows his knowledge of Socialism by endorsing the opinion that ‘‘Long ago Socialists claimed that Socialism was a religion, a spiritual experience ” (Northern Voice, October, 1934). Readers are recommended to study our pamphlet “Socialism and Religion.”

Labour Party and Teachers

The London Teacher reminds its readers (July 12th, 1935) that Mr. Charles Latham, Labour chairman of the L.C.C. Finance Committee, and Mr. (Sir) Arthur Pugh, one time chairman of the Trade Union Congress, jointly signed a minority report “recommending an adjustment of teachers’ salaries in the neighbourhood of 12½ per cent.” This they did as members of the famous “May Committee,” which led to the formation of the “ National Government.”

Codlin and Short

The London Teacher's moral is: “Join the National Union of Teachers” (and to those in the know, “Let the rival men’s association, the National Association of Teachers, where members are pledged not to work under a woman 'head,’ alone ”). Codlin’s the friend, not Short.

Pedagogic Ice Cream

The Daily Herald, however (July 4th, 1935), reports: “Teacher turns ice cream vendor,” and quotes the vice-chairman of the “Supply Teachers’ Association” as stating that men, “some possessing honours degrees,” are “almost on the verge of starvation.” . . .  Said teachers urged to “bring pressure on the Board of Education” to introduce their “untrained” colleagues to the amenities of the ice cream barrow by incontinently firing them.

“Captains and Guides of the Democracy” (Rosebery)

Twenty-seven years ago, a young recruit to the S.P.G.B. wrote (Socialist Standard, June, 1906): “ The declared reason for the existence of the N.U.T. is the furtherance of the interests of the child. Is there not a danger that it may become the happy hunting ground of the eloquent Party-man in a hurry to round his own life into a success? ”

G.L.

“Labour will not sanction war in any circumstances” (George Lansbury at meeting in Wales, June 12th, 1935).

Southport Conference

Now perpend: “There might be circumstances under which the Government of Great Britain might have to use its military and naval forces in support of the League in restraining an aggressor nation . . . etc.” (Southport Labour Conference, Report, page 244).

Head and Tail

“Four legs and two voices.” Take your choice, which is the brute Caliban, and which the foolish Trinculo. Evasiveness produced the “It is necessary to define what is meant by war,” which appears also on page 224.


Soviet Testimonial

Lord Passfield (reported Daily Herald, August 4th, 1932) says: "Russian working class families . . . are better off than the lowest grade of our population." The erstwhile Mr. Sidney Webb opines that "the country is relatively prosperous." Now we know something definite about "building Socialism." One is reminded of the famous testimonial in "Alice in Wonderland":

"She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim."

Augustus Snellgrove

Straws: A Rotten Case. (1935)

The Straws Column from the June 1935 issue of the Socialist Standard

A Rotten Case.

“The possibility of a new workers' party being formed, with the I.L.P. and the Communist Party as the central core, was one not of the distant future. It was, in fact, very near to them." Thus Maxton, at recent I.L.P. Conference. Harry Pollitt, "fraternal delegate” from C.P. following, announced that his party was “ready and willing to achieve the creation of a mass united Communist Party, affiliated to the Communist International.” !


Whither Maxton?

How this view of “mass” swallowing was regarded by Maxton is not stated. Future developments will be interesting to follow. The "picturesque personality," personally popular (according to parliamentary reporters in the Sunday Press) with Conservatives in the House, will hardly consent to play second fiddle to tenth-rate performers in the Anglo-Moscow band.


Dark Diplomacy.

Meanwhile, headquarters of the “Communist International” has been demonstrating how to “ lead ” the workers to Socialism. You beflag Moscow like Limehouse on Eden’s visit, you toast the King, you goose-step the Red Army—but only to throw dust in the eyes of the British master-class . . . until that humourless periodical, The Labour Monthly, incontinently gives the game away.

 “Soviet diplomacy undoubtedly made a most brilliant use of this opportunity—including plenty of bunting and drinking the King’s health—to win whatever sections in Britain could be won against the anti-Soviet war-plans.” (Palme Dutt, May, 1935.)

“Bloody Cesspools ” of Passchendaele.

A recent review in the Daily Herald called attention to Lloyd George’s exposure of Haig’s Passchendaele exploit, where the "plan was a folly” and “the crime was the obstinacy with which Haig continued to fling his heroic battalions into the bloody cesspool.” It records the fact that Lloyd George himself, however, sent a letter to Haig, congratulating him on the “skill, courage and pertinacity which have commanded the grateful admiration of the British Empire.”


The Labour Party in 1914.

The reviewer fails to point out that behind Lloyd George was the enthusiastic backing of the Labour Party, whose whole organisation had been placed at the disposal of the Government on the outbreak of war, whose own “Uncle Arthur” signed a joint appeal with Bonar Law and Lloyd George to householders to urge kith and kin to partake in any and every war activity for the glory of God and the preservation of the British capitalist class.


Morrison's “Socialism.”

“On the ability, quality and idealism of our party, including particularly its public representatives, will depend enormously the success of Socialism.” (Herbert Morrison, May 13th, 1935.) “Socialism” to the leader of the London Labour Party means "public ownership" of the London Passenger Transport Board type, ”efficient” working of ”public services.” The ”idealism” would seem to include a resolute endeavour to keep down the rates, for “We know that if we go too far in expenditure, we shall be turned out at the next election,” (Daily Herald, October 3rd, 1934. Italics our own.) Vote-catching has always been the main object of Labourism.


Consecrated Lick-Spittling.

The Archbishop of Canterbury relates that, shortly after the visit of the King and Queen recently, to the widow of a victim of a colliery explosion, she said to him, with tears in her eyes: “I could not help kissing the floor where she had stood.” It must be admitted that the capitalist class has played the Queen for all it is worth. The Red Pawn game of the Socialist Party will eventually cry ”Mate” on the political field. . . . The pawns will be alive, consciously working towards the End, inevitably marked out by Economic Circumstance. (See No. 6, Declaration of Principles.)


Shelley Speaking!

Percy Bysshe Shelley, not unknown in the highest realm of Poesy, claims space in The Socialist Standard. Written over a hundred years ago, the principle enunciated still stands: —

  "The power which has increased is the power of the rich. The name and office of King is merely the mask of this power, and is a kind of stalking-horse used to conceal these 'catchers of men' whilst they lay their nets. Monarchy is only the string which ties the robber’s bundle. ”

(A Philosophical View of Reform, 1820.)

Compensation.

And the question of ”Compensation” when the robber’s bundle is untied will be quite irrelevant, as irrelevant as ”compensation” for the sweat and agony of the long ages of Wage-Slavedom.

Augustus Snellgrove

Straws: In Oil (1935)

The Straws column from the July 1935 issue of the Socialist Standard

In Oil.

The Rt. Hon. G. N. Barnes was presented with his portrait in oils at Geneva, in recognition of his 40 years “international work.” In a sterner age recognition of his national “services” alone would have found expression by a disillusioned working class through the medium of boiling oil—minus the portrait.


Pensions—for ex-Soldiers.

“They will not get it while I am in office” (G. N. Barnes, 1916). The “they” included a big array of hopeless physical wrecks who had been “passed” for army service, the “it” being a pension. Ten years previously, as Chairman of the Labour Party, Barnes was warmly defending the “loyalty” of “Labour” to the Throne, and gaily voting additional grants to the Duchies of Lancaster and Cornwall. In 1909 he gave his blessing to a Wages Board Bill, whose chief merit (according to Keir Hardie) was "to cheapen the cost of production.”


Paying Industries.

An Italian newspaper says that Sir Norman Angell “has made of peace a paying industry.” Rather neatly put.

The Salvation Army has made a “paying industry" of the down-an-out. Competition in the “Peace" line is now on the cards. General Evangeline Booth declares, “Never again can there be a real war in this God-hungry world," "which is coming it strong," whatever may be the import of “real" and "God-hungry," one thing is certain. The gold-hungry, oil-hungry, rubber-hungry capitalist may at any time succeed in making a pretty good imitation of the "real" thing, unless the working class remove the cause of war by abolishing its incentive—private property in the means of life.


Salvation—of Private Property.

In a foreword to the Salvation Army Social Report, 1909, it was asserted that the Army was building “a strong barrier against Socialism." It was probably for that reason that the High Priest of the Independent Labour Party of those days (James Ramsay MacDonald) said: "Whatever agency comes or goes, the country cannot spare one agency, and that is the Salvation Army."

The Salvation Army is being badly treated by the capitalist class. The work of their leaders is poorly paid in comparison with the fat incomes of "eminent" bishops. For exploitation of working class ignorance this blatant organisation easily beats the whole bench of bishops.

Augustus Snellgrove