Getting away (1986)

A Short Story from the June 1986 issue of the Socialist Standard

I had managed to scrape some money together for once and decided to take a couple of weeks off from work. A chance to forget about the office, my crummy bedsit and the endless traffic jams. Next day I called into the office of Utopian Travel Agents to find out what they had on offer. A pretty fair selection it looked; train, boat or plane they had it.

For a modest offering and regular subservience Pie In The Sky Flights would guarantee perfect happiness for eternity. They were fully covered and had been in the business for over 2,000 years. Although some of the best sky pilots were in their pay I was dubious about their evasive flight plans. Talk of "moving in a mysterious way" did not inspire much confidence in their organisation. A closer inspection of what they had to offer revealed that it amounted to nothing more than a range of cheap insurance policies.

Perhaps something a bit more down to earth would suit. Maybe a leisurely cycling holiday would provide the break I needed. A chance through NT to travel back in time and see Victorian Britain. Norman's Transport seemed the answer and a quick glance at the brochure showed ample advice on bikes. How to stand on your own two feet, doff your cap and live on a penny farthing. It was the bit about climbing chimneys and treating rickets that put me off.

Too much like hard work that, give me the trains anytime. Good old MT, nicknamed Milliners Trendies because all the staff had to work with a flashy hat on. Still they provided the ideal escape for those who like a mystery tour. The usual scenic route with the transition periods is taken with the obligatory guides all thrown in. "We'll get you there" goes their slogan. Fine if you don't know where you are going in the first place.

So what else? I could try renting a villa abroad. South West Properties and Western Rental Properties looked active in this field. Their publicity claimed that their properties were fully equipped with all mod cons (and a few older ones no doubt). Both companies boasted of their panoramic views. The chance to be part of history and yet still glimpse the future was something they both prided themselves on. The WRP even went as far as to insist that from the same position two different views could be taken in.

None of that appealed to me at all. I was distrustful of the jargon used and didn't believe I would get an undistorted view anyway. No doubt whatever was served up would give me an attack of the trots so I decided against that offer.

Having waded through endless pages of fanciful bumph I decided to call it a day. Such was my despair that I nearly ended up on a trip in a hot air balloon personally filled by its owner Al Lyons.

It wasn't a short break I needed, but a complete change. In fact it's about time society had a complete change. Never mind the suntan oil. dark glasses and bucket and spade. It needs to organise itself so its members do not need to escape from it. And all those peddlers of instant dreams would be as unnecessary as the work I do in the bank.

Chris McColl